True Love, Hidden Emotions
by Tenshiyuki
Summary: This is the story of what hapens between Goku and Sanzo in the aftermath of the battle with Homura and how their love must over come many obstacles in order to survive. Yes this will contain light yaoi for now and in later chapters it will be much deeper.
1. Thoughts Past a Battle

Thoughts past a battle

Sighing as he ignored the bumpy ride in Hakaru Goku was unusually quite today so quite in fact that it had Gojyo and Hakkai worrying about him but neither would say anything until they reached the next town.

"Hakkai when will we reach the next town?" Sanzo asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"It should be only a few more miles Sanzo so don't worry." Hakkai smiled at Sanzo knowing full and well that the irritable monk wasn't nearly as fowl mouthed as he let on.

"Hey! Hakkai are there gonna be any hot chicks in this town? Cause I can't go another night without a pretty woman in my bed!" Gojyo questioned.

"I'm not a psychic Gojyo I can't possibly know what kind of women will be in this town."

Goku gazed out at the world passing by as the others conversation slid passed him as quickly as the world around him, he couldn't pay attention because his thoughts were all focused on Sanzo at that moment, now normally he wouldn't be one to worry but ever since the incident with Homaru Sanzo had acted even colder to him than he normally did.

Glancing at Goku Gojyo wondered what could possibly be so wrong that it would make the little monkey act like a depressed old man, snickering he suddenly pulled Goku into a head lock and gave him a rub on the head. "Hey monkey boy what's with long face you're an ape not a horse!"

Pulling away he took a swipe at Gojyo. "Leave me alone you damn water sprite! Can't a person think every now and then?"

"Sure a person can…but you're a monkey so you're not supposed to have too many thoughts you don't have the room to hold em!"

"You stupid cockroach! You're the one who doesn't have a single smart thought in his entire brain!" With that he lunged at Gojyo and they began fighting each other, it was going very well to until a gun shot rang through the air.

"Both of you shut up or I'll kill you!" Sanzo fired off another to shots to make his point crystal clear.

"Ha-ha and here I was beginning to think that today was going to be a nice quite day too." Hakkai laughed as Gojyo and Goku resumed their fight not a minute later, in a way it made him happy though since it meant Goku was acting like himself again and he suspected that's exactly what Gojyo had in mind all along.

Leaning back against the seat Sanzo rubbed his temples as he fought off the on coming headache due to that monkey's and water sprite's damn fighting, in truth though he was in a bad mood because ever since Homaru had been killed his little Goku seemed to have grown up a lot and that meant soon he wouldn't be looking to Sanzo as his sun much longer and though he would never openly admit it that thought frightened him more than death itself.

"Awe see the town is coming into view now Sanzo so rest easy we can get a good night's rest tonight." Hakkai had hoped that this news would ease the obviously angry monk but much to his dismay Sanzo merely grunted and closed his eyes.

Goku had been about to ask when they could eat but seeing the way Sanzo was acting he held hid tongue and leaned back against the seat again, watching as they came upon the town he sighed and hoped that Sanzo would feel better after a good night's sleep but he had the feeling that as long as he was around Sanzo would forever be in a bad mood.


	2. A Monkey's Mistake

Ok …..as previously forgotten in the first chapter……I don't own Saiyuki THERE!

Any who's I hope ya likes my story even if it's just getting started and is kinda slow right now but don't worry it will pick up I promise!

………please no flames unless you feel you must point out something so bad that it rots the screen off your computer.

A Monkey's Mistake

When they finally arrived in the town Gojyo was all but hopping out of the jeep in search for his three favorite things Women, smokes, and booze. "Look you guys I'll meet you back at the hotel later tonight but as for now I'm gonna get me a little action so see ya later." With one of his wicked smiles he sped off towards town.

Goku stared after him feeling upset that is only means of escape from Sanzo had just fled the scene. "Um Hakkai?"

"Yes Goku? Is there something wrong?" Hakkai looked at Goku through the rearview mirror.

"…..No not really I was just wondering what hotel we'd be staying at tonight?" He shrank back into his seat unable to believe how big of a coward he was being right now but he still couldn't get the courage up to say anything important in front of Sanzo.

"Well I suppose that's up to Sanzo since he will be the one paying for our accommodations this evening so why not ask him yourself."

"Sanzo?" He stared at the back of the monk's head.

"What?" He snapped without really meaning to.

"I was just….oh just forget it I don't care anymore!" He jumped out of the car and headed towards town to clear his mind.

"What the hell is the monkey's problem?" He glanced back as Goku disappeared from their sight.

"I'm sure it's nothing Sanzo he probably just needs some space, heaven knows he's been through just as much if not more than any of us recently." But even as he said it he knew there was more to it than that.

"Whatever he can do what he wants it's none of my damn concern." Still he was already worried with Goku out of his sight, when they were apart he felt like something awful would happen to Goku and he wouldn't be there to protect him.

Goku's POV 

Kicking up dirt as he walked outside of town in a small wooded area Goku couldn't help but wonder what Sanzo would do if he never came back. "Heh he would probably be relieved to be rid of a stupid monkey like me!" He whirled around and punched a tree out of frustration. "Why? Why can't I make him care even a little about me?"

"Perhaps you should leave this person then?"

Turning around Goku saw a tall man with flowing blue hair and he wore plain clothes like any human but Goku could tell he was no mortal. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"My name is Akuchi which means impure blood, and I am here for you Son Goku."

Taking a few steps back he eyes Akuchi with wary eyes. "And just why do you want me? I have nothing of value and surely you don't need me to open the gate to a new world like Homaru do you?

"No nothing like that, but you do have a greater purpose and besides it had been far to long since we'd last met Son Goku." He stepped forward and placed his hand on top of Goku's head.

"You know me? But how? I've never seen you before." He studied the man's face with curiosity.

"Oh but we did meet along long time ago, before you ever met Konzen who was to become your sun. You see as Sanzo is your sun I was your moon." He smiled and then without Goku even realizing it he slipped off his limiter and let it fall to the ground.

"NOO!" He fell to his knees as his hair grew longer along with his fangs and claws, then he waited for his mind to go blank just like every time he took his true form only this time he kept all his memories and thoughts, looking up at Akuchi in wonder he asked. "How is this possible?"

"As I said I am your moon. That and I am the one who created you Son Goku."

"What? No that's not possible I was born from the earth!" He went to pull away but Akuchi held him firmly in place.

"I know this for I am the one who put your essence into the earth, you see I gave you your power and I can control you for I am neither god nor demon."

"But surely you're not a human are you?"

"No I am not a human either." He smirked at Goku's confused expression.

"But then what are you if you're none of those? I mean what else is there?" he couldn't figure this guy out be he had the feeling he should leave.

"I am a Devil Goku something far more powerful than any mere god or demon and I want you to return to me at once and fight by side again." He knew with Goku at his side they could easily overrun this wretched planet.

"No! I only follow Sanzo and I'll never betray him. NEVER!" He pulled free and took off running towards the town but stopped short when he realized he was still in his Sage form, Sanzo and the others would think he was there to kill them but if he stayed then he was sure that Akuchi would make him fight them anyways.

"That's quite the dilemma you've got Goku, either run and revert back to your mindless killing self and hurt your friends or stay with me to where you can have infinite power. Tsk tsk what ever shall you do?" He moved forward confident that Goku would have to choose him.

Goku stood there knowing he couldn't bare to hurt his friends but if he stayed he knew he'd end up being forced to face them anyways so even if he knew it was a mistake he made the only choice that he could, raising his claws he plunged them deep in his own chest causing blood to spew everywhere and when he was sure the wound would slow him down and weaken him a great deal he took off to find Sanzo and hoped he Sanzo would put his limiter back on.

"GOKU!" Akuchi stared as Son Goku fled to find his sun and be healed once again, but he knew in the end that he would eventually get Goku no mater the cost. "Goku you made a grave mistake in choosing the sun over the moon and for that you will pay." With that he walked into a deep grey fog and disappeared.

Ok that's chapter two so review if ya want if not than that's your choice.

See ya next time ppl's!


	3. Regrets

**Here I am again with Chapter number three so you ppl's will get off my back cuz god ya'll is heavy :P**

**Anyway I'd don't own Saiyuki blah blah and all that stuff.**

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**Regrets**

Sanzo lit his third cigarette since Goku had taken off earlier that day and had yet to return.

"Sanzo don't you think we should go and look for Goku he's been gone for quite some time now?" Hakkai asked.

Looking up briefly he let out a puff of smoke and sighed. "That monkey can do what ever he wants it's not my job to keep an eye on him twenty-four seven."

Shaking his head Hakkai looked out the window in search of a sign that Goku would return soon but what he saw had him standing up so quickly he knocked his chair over. "Sanzo! Come quick its Goku!"

Getting up he walked over to the window and his heart stopped because walking towards their hotel was Goku in Sage form, reaching for his gun he jumped out of the window and prepared to face him knowing that Goku was a blood thirsty and unstoppable monster in this form. "Hakkai go and find Gojyo I'll hold Goku off till you return."

"Are you kidding? I can't leave you alone with Goku when he's in this state!"

"We both know that I'm the only one who stands any kind of a chance now go get Gojyo!" Turning back he looked at Goku who seemed to be taking his sweet time getting to them, it was then he saw Goku was clutching his chest where there was a vast amount of blood pouring out of a large wound. "Wait Hakkai look!"

Turning away from the door he saw Sanzo actually looked scared, looking at Goku he knew why it seemed Goku was bleeding to death. "Sanzo we have to help him!"

"We don't know for sure this isn't some sort of a trick Hakkai!" In truth it was all he could do not to run over and pull Goku into his arms, but his will was over powered when he heard Goku.

"S-Sanzo…" he could barely retain his sense of self as the blood loss got to him, the last thing he saw was Sanzo running and as he fell he felt a pair of arms wrap around him and hold him up.

"Will he be okay Sanzo?" Hakkai asked as he came to stop beside Sanzo just as he finished putting Goku's limiter back on.

"The wound looks pretty deep but…."

"But what Sanzo?" Hakkai prodded as to what was wrong.

"It looks as if he inflicted the wound upon himself in order to keep himself from hurting us." Looking at Goku as he lay in his arms bleeding and pale he felt his heart clench with fear for the young boy.

"Bring him back into the room and I'll work on healing him ok Sanzo?"

"Yea fine." He lifted Goku gently in his arms and took him back to the hotel room where he laid him on the bed softly, he turned to move so Hakkai could tend to him but he was stopped when Goku reached out and grabbed his robes.

"Ngh! Sanzo don't hate me I'm sorry but I didn't want him to take it off I didn't want to hurt anyone so I hurt myself but please don't hit me….please….." Wheezing in pain he struggled to look at Sanzo.

Hakkai prepared to help Goku assuming Sanzo would brush him aside as he normally would but to his great surprise Sanzo pulled Goku into his arms and held him close. "Stupid Monkey I could never hate you! But why did you have to go and get yourself hurt like that?"

Through his pain his body registered the feeling of being held in Sanzo's arms, his eyes nearly closed and his face began to blush slightly as he held onto Sanzo's arm. "I'm sorry but if I hadn't injured myself then he would have made me hurt you guys."

"Sanzo I need to heal him, we can question him about these things later." He moved forward motioning for him to move aside.

Nodding Sanzo let Goku go and stepped aside so Hakkai could help him out.

After about an hour Hakkai finished up on Goku who had fallen asleep, turning to Sanzo he was careful to choose his words. "Sanzo are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine…Where the hell is Gojyo anyways?" He glared at the door as if it would make Gojyo magically appear.

"I'll go and get him if you'll keep an eye on Goku ok?" He wasn't sure but he had a feeling Sanzo and Goku could use some time alone.

"Yea I'll keep an eye on the monkey you just go find the water sprite!" He nodded as Hakkai left the room.

Slowly Goku opened his eyes and looked around until he saw Sanzo standing near the window smoking a cigarette. "Sanzo what happened?"

Turning to look at Goku his heart was glad as he saw that Goku was going to be ok. "Hakkai healed you then went after Gojyo…So you wanna tell me what happened?"

Lowering his eyes he shrugged. "This guy claiming to be a devil showed up and started spouting of some crap about having been the one that created me and saying that he was my moon and when I didn't want to do what he said he took off my limiter but he was able to control me so I had no choice but to injure myself and go to find you guys."

Sanzo walked over and looked down at Goku who was visibly shaking by now. "Goku did you believe what he said about creating you and being your moon?"

He wiped at his eyes then glanced up at Sanzo. "I believe he was telling the truth…but I don't think he is my moon…besides I have no use for a moon when I have a sun to light up my world."

Staring down at Goku he felt his heart contract with an overly fondness for the kid but he couldn't help it as he gently sat down on the bed and pulled Goku into his arms. "Goku I could have lost you today….and if I had then my life would have been over along with yours."

Startled he looked up into to Sanzo's eyes that were now brimming with unshed tears. "Sanzo? What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Goku….That you are more important to me than the air that I breathe and today I learned that….Goku I love you." He hauled Goku's small body to his own and pressed his lips to Goku's in a feverish kiss.

Moaning Goku melted into the kiss as he clung to Sanzo with a fierce need, when the kiss finally ended and they pulled apart each gasping for air Goku studied Sanzo with heated eyes. "Did you mean it?"

"…Yes Goku I meant it I love you." He laid his hand on top of Goku's smaller one.

Smiling he looked at the touching hands then back at Sanzo. "Sanzo…I-I love you to."

Lifting Goku's hand to his lips he placed a kiss on the back of his knuckles and smiled. "I kinda figured that monkey boy."

"But don't you have any regrets about loving another guy Sanzo?" He questioned.

"My only regret is that I wasn't there to protect you." With that he pulled Goku to him and they both lay back on the bed peacefully.

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**Ok so there it is andI hope you guys enjoy it! **

**I'll try and make another update about what happens with Akuchi soon so just hold up a little longer it'll be worth the wait I promise!**


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